There will be Dust

I love living in old houses… or do I? Maybe it’s more accurate to say that I have always lived in old houses and therefore that’s what I’m accustomed to? And then, do I really LOVE living in old houses, or do I just like the look and the feel o f old houses.
Let’s review some Jenny-history. I have, with only two exceptions that come to mind, always lived in old houses; and I have lived in a lot of houses/apartments.
There is a table of certainties that I have acclimated myself to accept
  • There will never be enough electrical outlets.
  • There will be a problem with the bathroom. Such problems may include leaking faucets or pipes, mold and a toilet that may or may not be able to flush (eat small meals)
  • It will be cold in the winter and stifling in the summer.
  • Windows may or may not open or stay open.
  • The peeling paint may or may not be hiding something containing lead.
  • Some dirt is so old it will never go away.
  • Mold is scary
  • Mold is genetically coded for survival under any condition.
  • Parts of the floor will be mismatched, peeling or may contain camouflaged nails or other stabby items on which you will stub your toe.
  • One of the bedrooms used to be a closet
  • Do not have visitors who are architects or practitioners of feng shui as guests, they will frighten you with their doomsday predictions of what your house will do to you.
  • There may or may not be a ghost, who may or may not be friendly.
  • There will be dust.
I’ve come to realize, as I looked around my room this morning (which probably used to be a closet) that maybe I really don’t like living in old houses. I have acclimated myself to the inconveniences and possible risks of these places so well that I have convinced myself that it’s my choice, my preference to do so. Doesn’t that sound familiar?  I knew a domestic violence counselor once who said “Even a pile of shit will become warm and comfy if you sit in it long enough” Some of us are so adept at adapting to our circumstances that we lose sight of any other possibilities. I have written previous posts discussing the ability we have to resist change. The habit we develop as a means of survival that restricts us from looking ahead, from considering options and making choices. What it really boils down to is taking charge of our own lives. The Victim mentality is an insidious trait. We think we are free because we have escaped an abusive partner or an addiction or poverty, but somewhere down the line we find ourselves unhappy with something in our lives that we have been taking for granted. As in my case we may have even convinced ourselves we actually choose the circumstance.
Having said that I have to concede that for someone with my income and several pets options are limited. I have realized however that limited does not equal non-existent, that somewhere in between the two points there exists the realm of possibility.
Most likely there is one certainty; there will be dust.

                          

© 2010-2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Advertisements

About nanakoosa

Me...I am a trained Advocate and Counselor with 20 years experience working with Youth and Families. My most recent employment brought me to the field of Domestic and Sexual Violence Counseling and support. I myself am a Survivor of violence and have been on both side of the service desk, which provides for a unique, often conflicting, theoretical orientation. I am a regular blogger, journal keeper and story teller. My current focus is to give voice to the experiences of survivors, to shine some light in the dark corners of family life where all the spiders and creepy things hide. I also enjoy writing about my unconventional childhood in the tumultuous 60's and am dabbling in memoir writing. I have three wonderful children, two fabulous granddaughters and an assortment of pets. View all posts by nanakoosa

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: