|still lazing around in bed….|
Well, I seem to be at a loss for words, not only because the brain fog hasn’t entirely lifted but because I do want to be delicate in how I state what it is I want to say. I will enclose a link to my friend Eva Day’s blog because I believe she has summed up so precisely what I seem to be experiencing in my first weeks after EOT. I will include the big disclaimer that everyone’s experience is unique, but as with treatment itself, there are also seems to be a startling number of similarities and shared experiences in the post treatment months.
One of the more inevitable is the anxiety that accompanies the wait for lab results. Of course if we’ve been clear of the virus throughout most of treatment, chances are we’ll be that way a week after ending, after all the nasty meds are still running thick in our blood. It is in the later blood tests that we must anxiously wait to see if we have achieved the goal of SVR. I had requested a one month follow up because I know myself and my tendency to obsess over things like this. My doctor was kind enough to indulge me and I skipped off to the lab last week in hopes of finding some peace of mind; even bad news, as they say, is better than no news. Perhaps ironically the lab tech did every test except the viral level, so yesterday I took myself off to the lab and got another poke in the arm. My nurse Practitioner must have really railed on the tech because when she saw me she was quick to avoid my eyes and left the room. I felt kind of bad for her, a dedicated patient advocate can be very passionate, shall we say, about their work.
Now it’s a few days of waiting, again. Thankfully my doctors clinic is affiliated with a large hospital and the blood work can be done on site.
There’s a part of me deep down inside that has a feeling that I have not cleared the virus. I don’t know if it’s a result of a lifelong pattern of coping with the uncertain by always preparing for the worst, or something else. It may be the fact that I still don’t feel “better”, at least not as “better” as I’d like to be.
Whatever it is, I have learned through treatment and other challenging life experiences, that worrying changes nothing but one’s own contentment and the best we can do is, as they used to say back in the day, is to “keep on truckin”
Wishing You all a happy, restful weekend!
© 2011 Jennifer Hazard