Valentine’s Day


Valentines Day kind of snuck up on me this year. Even though I had been crafting decorations with my granddaughters and sat with them as they filled out the little hearts for their school mates (no doubt to be deposited in little hand decorated lunch bags taped to the front of their desks)I have always enjoyed Valentines Day, for as long as I can remember. Maybe partly because it precedes my birthday by three days. Maybe because I also love hearts and flowers and especially chocolate!
Something significant occurred this year. This year was different. It’s not the first year I’ve been single, I mean really single not even dating, on Valentine’s Day but I think it’s the first year I didn’t mind my single status. Romantic holidays tend to make us pine for love, partnership, and thanks to advertising symbolic (i.e. purchased)demonstrations of that love.
I’ve realized that it’s not about the expectations of the day that have changed for me. Instead it’s the fact that I am actually content to be single. I no longer believe that I need a man to be happy or complete. Referring back to my last entry this was the grandaddy of all beliefs that needed to become internalized. Believe me it took a long time, a lot of soul searching, meditation, counseling and, very importantly, practicing the kinds of exercises I suggested in my last post.
One of my favorite is to be my own Valentine. I’ll buy myself flowers or perfume or something I really want, something that is a bit of a luxury and makes me feel special.
Another tactic that has helped is to focus on Valentine’s Day as a day to express love..all kinds of love. Friendship love, family love, love for your pets. Helping a child make a lunch bag mailbox.
And don’t forget love for yourself.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all!
Peace and Love,
Nanakoosa

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About nanakoosa

Me...I am a trained Advocate and Counselor with 20 years experience working with Youth and Families. My most recent employment brought me to the field of Domestic and Sexual Violence Counseling and support. I myself am a Survivor of violence and have been on both side of the service desk, which provides for a unique, often conflicting, theoretical orientation. I am a regular blogger, journal keeper and story teller. My current focus is to give voice to the experiences of survivors, to shine some light in the dark corners of family life where all the spiders and creepy things hide. I also enjoy writing about my unconventional childhood in the tumultuous 60's and am dabbling in memoir writing. I have three wonderful children, two fabulous granddaughters and an assortment of pets. View all posts by nanakoosa

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